Forty-seventh Tuesday

Dear ones,
I have felt brain-tired the last week or so.  A bit dull.  Plodding.  Doing what is necessary.  Running from one thing to another.  Working in fits and starts.  A lot of going.  A full plate.  Unable to concentrate fully.

Underneath all the doing is heart heaviness.  Sadness for a dear friend who has lost a precious son.  The unsettled ache of a difficult relationship.  The constant missing of beloved children who are so far away.  Frustration with my own failings.

It feels hard to write this morning because I don't feel the warm glow of happy gratitude.  It is obscured in a gray fog of long lists and weariness.  And yet, there is so very much in which to rejoice. 

I choose to give thanks with my head, hoping - no, more than that, expecting  - that such intentional numbering of gifts will flow into my heart and spill out in joy.

1483.  Coty is home.  I could stop here.  The day feels brighter.

1484.  His luggage made it, too, after a brief delay.

1485.  Rachel is so much better.  No more wound vac.  No more PICC line.  Less pain medicine. And she got to go to church on Sunday.

1486.  Joel had a super tournament weekend.  Three wins.  Excellent play.  Safe travel.

1487.  Yesterday, the house was filled with the smell of bread and cookies baking.

1488.  We're going to my parent's for Thanksgiving. Very much looking forward to that!

1489.  There are leaves to rake, plants to pot.

1490. Lemon curd - from this year's meyer lemons - made yesterday.

1491.  My boys are very kind to their mother.  They take after their tender father.  What a huge gift, when I see so many young men who are indifferent, cold, or unkind to their mothers.  I feel very blessed.

1492.  We have a wedding coming up in 39 days!  Yikes and Wooohooooo!

1493.  Andrew gets home from Belgium in 17 days.

1494.  Matthew gets home from Minneapolis in 24 days.

1495.  Jonathan and Kandyce arrive in 30 days.

1496.  Erin, Luke, and Clara get here - well, we're not sure when yet - but in <38 days!

1497.  Grammie and Bapa spend the night Sunday evening, on their way back from SC to VA.

1498.  My church family continues to bless - Nathan's song during the Lord's Supper on Sunday was so moving.

1499.  This book, recommended by my friend, Mary, is a delight.

1500.  This is a new challenge.

1501.  Kay was "showered" and she and Thomas will be "showered" again on Saturday evening.  I expect a very fun, celebratory evening, knowing who's doing the planning!

1502.  The women with whom I study the Bible every Thursday morning and very, very dear and help me stay on track.

1503.  The sewing machine will be humming this afternoon!

The unthankful heart discovers no mercies;

but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and,

as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find,

in every hour, some heavenly blessings.

-Henry Ward Beecher

(ht - Rebecca Sower)

Now, let this thankful heart sweep through the day, finding blessings, thinking first and most of the One from whom all these good gifts come, and remembering...

It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God...

Be happy in him, O my heart...

 He who is the ground of thy faith 

should be the substance of thy joy.

Whence then comes heaviness and dejection,

when joy is sown in thee,

promised by the Father,

bestowed by the Son,

inwrought by the Holy Spirit,

thine by grace,

thy birthright in believing?

(-from the Valley of Vision)

Forty-sixth Tuesday

I looked down at my phone on the way home from church.  A message.  I called, entered my password and listened to the happy voice of a friend saying, "I have good news. Rachel is being released."

Many of us had been waiting for that day.  Waiting, after two colon surgeries, for our dear friend to be well enough to leave the hospital and continue her recovery at home.

As she rests, eats, regains strength, and recuperates here at our house, I am very thankful for...

1470.  Rachel's release on Sunday, just hours after her mom had to fly back to NJ
1471.  Friends who helped pack her up and get her home
1472.  Friends here to welcome her
1473.  Visiting nurses - they've been fantastic
1474.  Helpers to run errands
1475.  Helpers to stay here when I have to be away
1476.  Helpers who cook and bring food
1477.  Good sleep for Rachel and that she's...
1478.  Eating a bit more - hard to do after not eating for 18 days!
1479.  Learning to flush the PICC line so the nurse doesn't have to make extra visits.
1480.  The body's ability to heal, even after major trauma
1481.   Little milestones - inchstones - baby steps of progress each day.
1482.  Luke, Cameryn, and Noelle playing with Legos on the floor and making Rachel smile

The last three weeks have been so full.  I chuckle now that I thought it would be a quiet, slow time while Coty was away!  I continue to feel, as I've expressed in the last couple of weeks, such a deep gratitude for the body of Christ and for all the ways I have seen people using their gifts for the good of one another.  This is how it is supposed to be.  To God be the glory.

Sitting in the sunshine

It has been quite a week.  My Friday class is over.  I don't have to go anywhere for a few hours.  So, I am sitting at the end of the kitchen table, the sunshine streaming across my shoulders and head, the sounds of a chickadee on the feeder outside the window behind me. 

I am tired.  But I feel glad. 

Glad for those middle school students, some of whom know more about birds than I do, who sit around my table and eagerly raise their hands to identify the birds I show on the screen.  I'm trying to get a feel for what they already know and I am impressed!

Glad for the many people who have provided such tender tag team care for our friend, Rachel.  She will be coming "home" to my house soon (hopefully tomorrow) and I look forward to this home, instead of the hospital, being the place where dear ones will come to visit.  I think it's time to make a big batch of cookies so that many can enjoy tea time and restful visits with Rachel in the days and weeks ahead.

Glad to learn something I never really thought I'd learn how to do.  I now know how to change a colostomy bag! (warning - the link may be way more information than you really want to know unless you like anatomy or things medical).

Glad for a chance to reconnect with some friends from college last night and again tonight at our Davidson Cluster Reunion. (although, I admit, I get nervous before these kinds of gatherings.  I expect I will be doing a fair amount of nametag reading).

Glad for the progress out front.  Chandra, it's almost done.  At least, a large part of it.  I promise pictures soon.  I am now an ever bigger fan than ever of Dearness Gardens.  It is worth paying more for the expertise and friendly advice they give to someone like me with a whole LOT of questions.  Truly, if you want to go beyond the chain hardware store nursery offerings and you live in the Charlotte, NC area, go visit them.

Glad for my boys.  While sitting here in the sunshine, I just received a big hug accompanied by sweet words from Joel .  Just before that, I'd received a very thorough and wonderful shoulder massage from Thomas.  My boys sure do take good care of me when Coty is away.

Glad that it's only a little more than a week before Coty returns.  He's been gone a long time.

Glad for apples from the mountains (thanks, Amber), the loan of clothes from my personal style adviser (thanks, Carla), and glad for time to pray with Cindy, Paula, and Martha.  What a gift these friends are!

Glad for strength to keep going when that's necessary and glad for moments to stop.

Forty-fifth Tuesday

Sometimes you have the opportunity to see things from a different vantage point.  I have gazed across the treetops to the university campus and beyond from the 5th floor of the hospital a lot recently.  I like seeing the big picture spread out below, the treetops and the lay of the land, the buildings and roads from a bird's eye view.

I've been seeing another big picture lately.  I see it from the vantage point of "absent pastor's wife."  While Coty has been away, serving in Indonesia and India, I've fielded a few more phone calls and questions, been asked to relay messages, and handled little details that he normally sees to.  It has not been a burden at all, but has given me the privilege of seeing things from a little different vantage point than I usually do.  I see more clearly the "big picture" of the life of our church.  I am seeing and am incredibly thankful for...

the body of Christ 

in action

I have watched our little church family display so many evidences of grace, so much compassion, so much affectionate serving, so much love.

Dear, dear DGCC family, I feel so thankful as I see you...

visit the sick

respond to emergencies

sit late at the hospital

take food

make cards

sing a hymn as a family at a bedside

care for elderly members

play the piano

lead worship for the first time

teach children to sing

counsel

encourage a frightened and discouraged young man

pray

eat together

take over teaching a class

pick up a bed from the store,

take it to the apartment,

put it together,

and go back to the store for the missing piece.

tag team visit

run errands

give money for a plane ticket

send emails of encouragement and comfort

cry together

laugh together

travel to far away places

bring snacks to the hospital

offer rides to those who can't drive

handle finances

make phone calls

clean the church building

adopt very special needs children

endure hardship with patience

trust God in trials

We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.  1 Thessalonians 1:2,3

#s 1436-1469

Something else to do on a November day

Bring flowers inside.

I walked out back a little while ago and picked a few black-eyed susans from the plant that is pictured in the header above.  That plant first appeared on the night of the proposal.  (see it right there on the table in front of the happy couple).  It has bloomed prodigiously and continuously ever since.  It sits on an old bench on my deck right outside my kitchen window and is such a beautiful spot of color.

I also picked a few roses.  Red knock-outs and the peppermint striped floribunda.  Both still have new buds and just seem to keep right on blooming and blooming.  More bright spots of beauty.

It feels like November

Rainy

Chilly

A little raw

So what to do????

Make cinnamon rolls, of course - to send with a sleepy boy for his early morning AP History class.  I thought that might wake Joel and his classmates up a bit and bring some cheer on this gray day!  

Forty-fourth Monday

Today, instead of an auto mechanic waiting room,  I sat in a hospital waiting room.  My friend, Rachel was having major surgery.  Thinking back over the weekend and seeing all that has transpired, I felt incredibly thankful for:

the body of Christ
so many caring friends who came by to visit dear Rachel
tag team companions
generosity and the purchase of a plane ticket
guitar and songs in a hospital room
fall flowers brightening R's hospital stay
R's mom arriving before the surgery
loving notes in a hospital room guest book
colored pencil drawings, too
kind nurses
tender hearted PA
caring, skilled doctors
medicine to ease my friend's pain
creative caregivers
prayer warriors
love poured out
the One who knows our weakness
and gives peace
lessons learned in waiting
incredible medical technology
encouraging phone calls
so very much love!

#1414-1435