I have felt brain-tired the last week or so. A bit dull. Plodding. Doing what is necessary. Running from one thing to another. Working in fits and starts. A lot of going. A full plate. Unable to concentrate fully.
Underneath all the doing is heart heaviness. Sadness for a dear friend who has lost a precious son. The unsettled ache of a difficult relationship. The constant missing of beloved children who are so far away. Frustration with my own failings.
It feels hard to write this morning because I don't feel the warm glow of happy gratitude. It is obscured in a gray fog of long lists and weariness. And yet, there is so very much in which to rejoice.
I choose to give thanks with my head, hoping - no, more than that, expecting - that such intentional numbering of gifts will flow into my heart and spill out in joy.
1483. Coty is home. I could stop here. The day feels brighter.
1484. His luggage made it, too, after a brief delay.
1485. Rachel is so much better. No more wound vac. No more PICC line. Less pain medicine. And she got to go to church on Sunday.
1486. Joel had a super tournament weekend. Three wins. Excellent play. Safe travel.
1487. Yesterday, the house was filled with the smell of bread and cookies baking.
1488. We're going to my parent's for Thanksgiving. Very much looking forward to that!
1489. There are leaves to rake, plants to pot.
1490. Lemon curd - from this year's meyer lemons - made yesterday.
1491. My boys are very kind to their mother. They take after their tender father. What a huge gift, when I see so many young men who are indifferent, cold, or unkind to their mothers. I feel very blessed.
1492. We have a wedding coming up in 39 days! Yikes and Wooohooooo!
1493. Andrew gets home from Belgium in 17 days.
1494. Matthew gets home from Minneapolis in 24 days.
1495. Jonathan and Kandyce arrive in 30 days.
1496. Erin, Luke, and Clara get here - well, we're not sure when yet - but in <38 days!
1497. Grammie and Bapa spend the night Sunday evening, on their way back from SC to VA.
1498. My church family continues to bless - Nathan's song during the Lord's Supper on Sunday was so moving.
1499. This book, recommended by my friend, Mary, is a delight.
1500. This is a new challenge.
1501. Kay was "showered" and she and Thomas will be "showered" again on Saturday evening. I expect a very fun, celebratory evening, knowing who's doing the planning!
1502. The women with whom I study the Bible every Thursday morning and very, very dear and help me stay on track.
1503. The sewing machine will be humming this afternoon!
The unthankful heart discovers no mercies;
but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and,
as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find,
in every hour, some heavenly blessings.
-Henry Ward Beecher
(ht - Rebecca Sower)
Now, let this thankful heart sweep through the day, finding blessings, thinking first and most of the One from whom all these good gifts come, and remembering...
It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God...
Be happy in him, O my heart...
He who is the ground of thy faith
should be the substance of thy joy.
Whence then comes heaviness and dejection,
when joy is sown in thee,
promised by the Father,
bestowed by the Son,
inwrought by the Holy Spirit,
thine by grace,
thy birthright in believing?
(-from the Valley of Vision)