Writing to see

At her blog, Seedlings in Stone, L.L. Barkat posted a writer's challenge. So, I closed my eyes and tried to see and feel and hear. I recalled a long ago Cameroon night after our car accident and wrote:

Back from the Clinic

In velvet darkness
punctuated by
pinprick lights
from scattered huts
A pregnant mother
walks.
Lantern swinging
in her husband's grip
sheds dim swaying light.
Enough to see their way
along an African road.

I close my eyes and I can still see that couple.

I sit, enveloped in velvet darkness peace,
on the torn backseat
of a white pick-up,
My son asleep,
His head on my shoulder,
His swollen leg across my lap,
I can still feel hardened cast
and gauze wrap,
Solid and rough under my fingers.

I close my eyes and I can still hear
His breathing,
deep and even,
And the quiet remarks
of the men in the front seat,
As we pass expectant pair,
She's on her way
to the clinic.
Think she'll make it?

Golden butternut soup and sweet potato biscuits...

over here.

In the last few days, I....

1. Cleaned out my attic. That was an unintended undertaking. I went up there to put Christmas things away and make a space for the items Jonathan left behind when he departed for Egypt. I ended up spending an hour and a half moving, decluttering, reorganizing. At one point, I was just chucking things out the attic door. I should have been shouting, "Look out below." I did get Joel or Matthew, can't remember which one, with an empty box or something at one point. In spite of the danger, they were a huge help. I couldn't have done it without them.

I learned that a) since my husband and sons are much worse packrats than me, I should adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy next time I encounter items that have been stored for 7 years and not missed once. How is it they suddenly acquire such precious status? We did fill the back of the van with items for Goodwill, and the trash can with junk. It is such an organized and spacious attic now. A friend suggested that maybe I start having my quiet time up there. Hmmm....

I also learned that b) I should wear a helmet next time I clean the attic. How many times did I bonk my head on the rafters? I lost count. Ouch! But, it was worth it.

2. Gave two haircuts. And one of them was major. You will, perhaps, not recognize the young man who was shorn today. (I would have added a picture to this post but I accidentally deleted the before and after shots...you'll have to be content with an "after" next time I pull out the camera). He looks very different, very handsome, older, and taller. Go figure! But we've decided we really liked his longer hair so I probably won't be giving him a haircut again for a very long time. The other haircut was less drastic but the young man in question is no less handsome after his barbering!

3. Made a really, really delicious butternut squash/sweet potato soup and sweet potato biscuits. Check over at Good Food, maybe tomorrow, for recipes. I just made these up as I went along so I'll have to see if I can write recipes that accurately detail what I did. They were sooo good. Amber got one of the biscuits and said it's what her grandpa would call a "cat head" biscuit. Big and round and flat...but light, I might add.

4. Got a new mattress. At long last. Hooray for craig's list. My back and hip and neck are happy!

5. Finished a book. The Memory of Old Jack by Wendell Berry.

6. Hung out a lot of laundry. Our dryer quit drying. It's a simple repair...just a new heating element needed but we're in the market for a newer, more energy efficient model. So, I'm hanging clothes while I wait. That presents a problem on a day like today when it rains most of the day. But I am undaunted. Racks on the screen porch, coat hangers on the bar above the washer, and my shower curtain will do just fine, thank you. But I am glad the sun is supposed to come out tomorrow.

7. Walked a lot. A couple of times a day some days. Today was wonderful. Two 45 minute brisk walks with different friends before 10 AM. I had lots of energy today as a result.


I've felt a lot of happiness in small things these last few days. I've been more deliberate in some personal routines and slowed down. Time always seems to stretch when I do that. The slower I go, the more time I seem to have. Or maybe, I'm just not caught in the illusion that busy-ness equals productivity. I linger and enjoy each activity and somehow it seems like I still get more accomplished.

I've also been enjoy the fruits of non-procrastination. The attic is a case in point. I wasn't really eager to clean it out the other day, but once I got started, it was easy to press on. The result is very gratifying and really, it didn't take me that long. You can get a lot done if you will just start doing it.

And now, it is time to stop writing and go to bed...on my new mattress : )

Update on Emily

Dear praying friends - Emily had her kidney removed today. When the doctors operated, they found that it was not functioning and was becoming diseased. The decision to remove it was unambiguous. Emily is in a lot of pain tonight so please pray for relief from that. Hopefully, she will be able to go home sometime early next week.

Update on Emily

Another surgery will take place this morning. Last week's surgery which removed part of Emily's kidney failed to take care of the problem of urine leaking and pooling around the kidney instead of passing through the ureter to the bladder. The docs think that her kidney may be able to be patched but are concerned that it perhaps has more cracks and tears that are allowing the leakage and that they will not be able to patch them all. If this is the case, they will remove her kidney today. (take a look here if you need a little refresher on kidney anatomy and function.)

I got to go to the hospital last night and visit Emily. She was sitting up in a recliner with a tray of beads in front of her, making bracelets. It was good to see her smile.

Please pray for the surgery today. For skill and wisdom for the doctor. For the right decision about whether to repair or remove the kidney. For patience for Emily (she's getting VERY tired of being in the hospital and told me she just wants to go home and sleep in her own bed). For strength, good health, and comfort for Em and her family. They are amazing and have been surrounded through all of this by an amazing church, co-op, and gymnastics community family. They feel very well cared for and supported in love and prayer. Emily's little sister, Catherine, was counting the get-well cards Emily has received, most of which are displayed on the walls of her hospital room. I think she was up way over 100 outpourings of love!

Thanks to all of you who continue to pray. I'll try to update as soon as I hear news of today's surgery.

Pruning

Do you remember this lemon tree from the summer? It lived on our deck all summer long. We brought it inside when temperatures fell below freezing. By mid-summer its branches hung low from the weight of all the lemons that grew on it. Through the fall, the lemons turned yellow and we enjoyed them, one by one. A few were made into lemon pies at Thanksgiving and a few more went into lemon curd for Christmas gifts. I love the very delicate flavor of these Meyer lemons. They are not like what you get in the grocery store. Much more fragrant. Much better.

A month or so ago, I gave the tree a heavy pruning. Long leafy branches were lopped off. Spindly twigs, too. A thorough cutting back.

Pruning is a huge act of faith. You make cuts and hope. For about a month, the tree looked very sad. Dead almost. I began to wonder if I had pruned too severely.

And then, oh wow, I noticed these little shoots beginning to grow. Look just below the cut to the right and below the lower branch just below where it begins to branch out to the left. See the tiny shoots appearing...

It wasn't long before those tiny shoots developed leaves. Tiny, tender, fragile new growth.

Lengthening, spreading, opening up...

Growing in new directions....

One of the aims of pruning is to change the direction of the growth make the tree more balanced and sturdy. This little tree had developed too many branches on one side of the main trunk and with its large crop of lemons, the branches drooped precariously heavy and off kilter. I had to support the leaning limbs so they wouldn't crack under the weight of the fruit. Now, with the new growth, the branch structure seems more balanced. I think the tree will hold up better under the weight of fruit this summer.

I am also beginning to notice buds that will develop into flowers. They are tiny now but will become waxy, fragrant white blossoms that will scent my kitchen and eventually develop into fruit.

I cannot now look at my little tree without thinking of the words of Jesus in John 15...

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:1-5)

Are you being pruned right now? Have you felt the sharp blade of the pruning shears as the Father removes fruitless branches from your life. Are you feeling like a part of you has been lopped off? I have felt that way. I know. It hurts.

Take heart. Abide. New growth will appear. Tender at first, but stronger by the day. Look forward to fruit bearing.

Remember my little lemon tree and be encouraged.

So what did we do...

...on our snow day? Read aloud, baked, knitted, and spent hours watching the inauguration. I was very glad I didn't have to go anywhere today...except out for a nice long walk with my neighbor in the cold but sunny late afternoon. The boys studied some, watched with me, and went out for awhile with a friend in the afternoon. Nice slow day.

Snow day!

I know my family and friends in the northeast, Pacific northwest, upper midwest, and mountain states are chuckling , but we have a whopping ONE inch of snow this morning and the local schools are closed. Since our homeschool co-op decided to make it easy and just do what the schools decided to do, we have a snow day, too! Yippee! I feel like a kid!

Laugh at us if you will. We will enjoy it, nonetheless.

I donned my mucky-muck boots (haven't had them on in awhile)...

and went out to fill the feeder and melt the ice in the bird bath.

Madison wasn't sure what to think. He hasn't seen snow for a long time. Wonder if he remembers his childhood (er...kittyhood) in New England??


The woods are lovely with their dusting of snow...

and the daffy's that popped up at the end of the year....well, let's just hope they brave this little snow and still bloom in a few weeks.

A defining trait

"It has been a defining trait of our family: The moment some simple but meaningful treat is prepared, a good fish soup or the first pot of coffee in weeks, up trots some uninvited person with an appetite."

I had to chuckle at that quote from our current read-aloud, Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. Coty was sitting in his chair at the end of the table in the sunshine reading, the boys were gathered around, I had my tea and a piece of dense German pumpernickel bread with some cherry preserves on it and a cup of good black tea. As he read, we all recognized a defining trait of our home in that quote.

We have had our share of uninvited guests. In Enger's story, the children, Swede and Rube are not very happy when such guests appear. In the chapter from which the quote above is taken, when the coffee is hot and they hear a knock on the door, the uninvited guest is a federal agent looking for her fugitive brother. At another time in the story, the guest was the traveling salesman who always ate greedily, consuming far more than his fair share of what was offered.

We have fed neither federal agents nor traveling salesmen. Our drop-ins are mostly twenty-something young men and they are always, always welcome, no matter how much they eat : )

We usually feel like Kenyans whose Swahili proverb says,

Mgeni afike, mwenyeji afurahi.

It means,

When the guest arrives, the host rejoices.

Lord, keep us always willing and happy to share our "simple and meaningful treats" with whatever guests you bring to our door....

********
Post script: I've been chewing on this post for a couple of days. It was hard to finish because it has raised some hard questions for me.

It is easy to talk about the happy times of hospitality. It is easy to open our doors to the kind young men who clean up the kitchen and laugh with my sons, the missionary couple with precious children who sit at the table and tell stories of work and learning and growing and leave us marveling at God's grace and guidance in their lives, the first time church visitor eager to connect and grateful for a lunch invitation.

But what if the guests are not like these? What if they are rude, ungrateful, or even hostile? What if they have big problems that interrupt our lives in unexpected ways? What if they are dirty or use foul language? How hospitable would I be then? How gracious and welcoming? These are hard questions.

My pride, selfishness, and self-righteousness glare at me. It is easy to pat myself on the back for opening my home to so many. But what has it cost me - time in the kitchen, a stretched food budget, a bit less time to devote to personal pursuits? Not much, really.

I long to truly embrace and embody the biblical mandate to offer hospitality, for such hospitality to be a defining trait in our lives. I continue to pray, Lord, keep us always willing and happy to share our "simple and meaningful treats" with whatever guests you bring to our door...

and really mean whatever guests.

For further reading:

"We play small parts in the lives of many people we encounter. Hospitality is practiced in a thousand reckless little ways. We don’t know what will be the outcome of caring for the stranger. God is under no obligation to tell us, and yet he notices and controls the consequences of each little temporal act, and they will not go unrewarded." From an article by Margie Haack of Ransom Fellowship. Read the whole article here.

James 2:1-9
1 Peter 4:9
Hebrews 13:2

Update on Emily

I am so thankful for those of you that don't even know Emily who have written to say you are praying. The God of all grace hears every prayer and he is at work in and through Emily and her family.

She did have the surgery on Wednesday. They removed a portion of her kidney, about 25% of it that was damaged and not functioning. They also removed a football sized hematoma from around her kidney. She is still in the ICU and recovering. We continue to pray that her blood pressure and fever would stabilize and that she would get some relief from the contact dermatitis she has developed.

And another prayer - that she would get out of the ICU, so her younger sisters who are not allowed in there, will be able to see her. They miss their big sister.

Thanks for praying.

Evening update

Shortly after my post this morning, we got news that Emily was staying in the ICU. She is scheduled for surgery tomorrow. I won't go into details here, but she may lose the kidney that was damaged. Please continue to pray for this precious girl and her family.

A teaser...

Hungry? So were we this evening.....

I'm starting to write more about food and cooking, sharing recipes and menus and ideas on creativity in the kitchen. So, if you're curious or need a meal idea or you're just a foodie, pull up a chair and head over to Good Food for meal ideas and conversation from our table.

I'll leave a link in the sidebar.

Update on Emily

Emily's getting better, praise God. She was moved out of the ICU into a private room this morning. That's a great development.

She is still battling an infection caused by the kidney not functioning properly and by a hole between the kidney and the bladder. She may still require some surgery. But she's better.

Please continue to pray for her and her family - mom, dad, older brother and three younger sisters. Life is a bit topsy-turvy for them right now with parents needing to spend so much time at the hospital. But friends and church and co-op family are stepping up in wonderful ways to care for the family.

And thanks to those of you who are praying....

Break - really and truly over

The quiet has

d
e
s
c
e
n
d
e
d.

The last child bound for a far away place left this morning. Our long awaited, much anticipated, thoroughly enjoyed, lovely lengthy, memory filled Christmas break is now officially over.

Coty took Thomas up the road a piece this morning to meet his roommate for the ride back to Covenant. He told me that when he left Thomas, he cried a little. My sweet husband - when he told me that, I choked up, too.

Why did you cry, sweetheart? What was it about saying good-bye to this son that brought tears?

I think for both of us it's just that Thomas's departure marks the end of the time we had so much looked forward to, the time of having all of our children (plus) home together. A time that is not likely to be repeated any time soon has come to a close. Sad.

Everyone is scattered now - in all directions. Erin and Luke to the north, Andrew to the south, Jonathan to east (the Middle East, that is), Thomas to the west. (And k dear, I'm counting you, too - another westward flying dear one).

Our children are grown and growing. Adults and near adults making their ways in the world. How does a mother hold them close in her heart and let them fly? With tears and sadness, with hope and thankfulness, with prayer....

...and email and skype and phone calls and letters and care packages (yes, college boys, I'm turning over a new leaf), with pictures on my bulletin board of each one so I can look at their precious smiles every single day...

Oh my, this growing up thing is hard on a mother sometimes.

Young moms, hold your little ones tight, shower them with hugs and kisses, make their favorite dinner, bake a pie just because, walk in the woods and throw rocks in a stream, sit down and play a game, laugh at their jokes, read books out loud, rub their backs, cherish, cherish, cherish....

I've still got two boys at home. I've got lots of mothering to do at close quarters, lots of hugs every day, lots of shepherding yet, and driving and soccer games and jokes and wrestling (to watch, not do). Lots of schooling still and getting driver's licenses and more. Good thing. I am not ready for the empty nest yet.

Update on Emily

This morning things looked a little better, but they are still critical. Emily's chest x-ray indicated that she is not breathing properly and if she doesn't start breathing well today, she will have to be put on a ventilator. Please pray for improvement in her breathing.

Also, please pray that her parents would stay healthy so they can remain in the ICU with her.

The next 24-48 hours are very critical. Fluids need to drain, Emily needs to be breathing better.

We pray for healing, for wisdom and skill for the doctors, for comfort and strength for the family. Our hope is in the Lord, the maker of our bodies, the One who is intimately acquainted with all our cells, who knit us together in our mother's wombs. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by the One in whom we live and breathe and have our being. (Psalm 139: 13,14 , Acts 17:28).

Pray for Emily

Accidents happen and life changes abruptly. Some homeschool co-op friends of ours are walking through a very frightening and serious trial right now and if you think to pray for them, we would be so grateful.

Emily, 14, who is in Joel's co-op classes and in the biology class I tutor, is a very accomplished gymnast. But on last Wednesday, a terrible accident happened. She missed a vault in practice and landed wrong, hitting a knob on the vault and severing a piece of her kidney. She has been in the hospital ever since. The doctors determined that they could save her kidney but she has had a lot of internal bleeding and over the weekend she has suffered various complications, including developing pneumonia and infection elsewhere that they are having a hard time pinpointing. She is in a lot of pain and had a feeding tube and a drain inserted today. She is in the ICU and is a very sick young lady right now.

Please pray...
-that the doctors would find and be able to treat the source of the infection
-that her fever would go down and the pain would decrease
-that the kidney would heal and no more complications arise
-that the Lord would give strength and comfort to her family. and wisdom for the decisions that need to be made by doctors and familt
-that those of us who know the family would be strong arms of support for them now
-that those who know Emily would be moved to see the hand of God in her life and be drawn to the Savior that Emily and her family know and love

Thank you for lifting your petitions to God for this precious girl and her family. I'll keep you posted.

The first two...

...*Fighter Verses memorized for the new year are these...

for last week, Deuteronomy 7:9:

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love to those who love Him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.

and for this week, Deuteronomy 10:12

And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and and with all your soul.

His promise - an unbroken covenant of steadfast love

My response - walk in holy fear, love and serve Him, with all my heart and soul

My prayer - Father, enable me to daily recognize your steadfast love and respond with whole hearted, whole souled walking, loving, and serving.

_____________________________

* We're using Set A at DGCC for 2009. Print a complete set of the verses for this year here.

I've seen the movie...

...and it's funny and best of all, a wonderful learning project. It's not quite finished but Matthew and Andrew R. really KNOW those words now. The title: Epic Vocabulary. I'm working on the word list for the sequel. I don't think anyone ever had so much fun prepping for the SAT.

If you give a kid vocabulary words...

...he'll make a movie.

At least, if that kid is Matthew. Last night, while the rest of us were out, he and his buddy, Andrew, worked to create a video using the words we've studied for the last couple of days...all 68 of them. I haven't viewed the video yet - it was finished late last night - but I can't wait to see how they used maladroit, nefarious, salubrious, and effervesce. I heard that the movie making involved a trip to two drive-through windows. Hmmmm????

This morning...

I rose in the dark
to the roaring sound of wind
and chimes ringing praise.

Vocabulary

Who called SAT prep work "grunt work"?

Oh, yea, I did. After an hour of work with Matthew, I recant. "Grunt work" is a misnomer, at least when it comes to reviewing vocabulary. I have thoroughly enjoyed this last hour of dipping into the dictionary with Matthew to look up some of the wonderful words out there that find their way into SAT questions. The review book calls them the "tough" words. Like:

abstemious, effervescent, and dauntless

amity, clemency, and euphony

efface, expedite, and atrophy

acquiesce, capitulate, and confound

burgeon, cohere, and distend

and my favorite from today's review....antediluvian.

I hope he feels the same way - happy, that is, about studying words. If not, at least he has a convivial teacher. Look it up.

Back in the swing...

Joel is sitting at the table (coughing, poor guy) and reading about Mendelian genetics...

Matthew is in the family room in the old, old recliner reading about Congress...

I am heating up water for tea and getting ready, when M gets to the end of his reading, to start SAT critical reading review with him. Yep, it's that time. He takes the SAT later in January and we're doing some review. I know the test is not the measure of all he knows. I view it rather as a necessary evil for anyone who wants to apply to college. (Some colleges are recognizing that this is not really a great way to assess students, but for now, it's still what most colleges use at least as a starter for making the cuts in admissions) Anyway, we do the grunt work, study the review books, answer the daily online question, just bone up in as many ways as we can. I'll handle the verbal side of things, Coty the math, thank goodness.

We're getting back in the swing of lessons after a lengthy, lovely, and complete break from anything resembling school work. I needed the rest. It was a challenging fall and the spring will prove no less rigorous.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I made two resolutions. As I look ahead, I am happy with their elegant simplicity and broad applicability in all spheres of life. Here's how they will begin to play out in our learning lives...

Procrastinate less will mean getting biology lab preps done earlier in the week, reading American government and prepping for time with our AP kids before the night before, grading biology labs from the class I teach the day after they are handed in rather than the night before I am supposed to hand them back, starting earlier in the morning and sitting down with each boy every day.

If you are a younger homeschooling mother reading this you may not believe that a day can go by that you don't actually sit down with your child to "do lessons" but when you have older children that are self-directed, this is not unusual. The danger is that you let them to themselves a little too much...I fell off the horse on that side a bit last fall...I'm climbing back on.


Reading more will mean more poetry with the boys (reading aloud and memorizing), more of the extra articles for American government, and perhaps a novel or two that Joel and Matthew are reading for their co-op lit classes, in addition to my own personal reading list. Now, this is a tall order and one that will require that I discipline myself to actually stop cleaning the kitchen sink and sit down and read. I do love to read, but I confess, I am very easily distracted by the things that seem to need to get done. Since I fall asleep in the evening if I try to read, I'll have to do this earlier in the day...or go for a run at 7:00 PM so I'm more awake in the evening.

The tea water is now hot. Matthew is ready. So, no more writing for now....time to put #1 into practice.

Cheers all. Happy schooling.

Resolutions

Mine are quite simple this year. I hadn't thought much about them really. I'm not a big New Year's resolution kind of person, but these two crystallized in my mind shortly after our traditional New Year's waltz. I mentioned them to our kids and friends gathered round. Here they are...

Procrastinate less.

Read more.

That's it.

Now to the keeping of them. That's the hard part.

Cairo update

J's there, luggage and all, safe and sound, and getting settled into his apartment in Cairo. Thanks for your prayers.

Cairo bound...See you in India??

Lump-in-the-throat throat time is over for today with the departures of Kandyce this morning and Jonathan this afternoon. K's back to Denver and J is on his way, via Chicago and Amman, Jordan, to Cairo for his year working at MESP.

And I'm missing these big kids already and dreaming of the summer and praying about the wild possibility of meeting up with them in July in India! You may remember that J spent some time there with Kandyce last summer and both of them have launched a major lobbying effort to get as many Pinckneys as possible to India this summer. Is the Lord leading there? I don't know right now. I would love to travel there. I never have. In fact, I've never been in Asia at all. Africa, Europe, South America...yes. Maybe it's time to visit the other side of the world.

What would I do? Probably volunteer in an orphanage for Dalit (untouchable) children. For now, I am praying and reading and learning about India. And getting lots of encouragement from two very dear people.

Christmas pics

We waited til everyone arrived (except K who didn't get in til late Christmas Eve) to decorate the tree...


In the days leading up to Christmas...

Jonathan worked on a very special gift

Erin baked cookies and relaxed

Luke did a bit of leather work

and Andrew played the cello

On Christmas morning...

this special gift was enjoyed

and Sadie took it all in.

On Christmas day, my parents and sister's family joined us for gift giving, feasting, and visiting. But I was so busy in the kitchen and elsewhere that I took very few pictures. Sorry!

The rest of the time, we cooked and hugged...

and hugged....

and played...

Dutch blitz and Fishbowl and Taboo and Cranium

Boys AND...

girls this year!

It was a full happy family time and it's drawing to a close as young people drive away or board airplanes and head off, leaving a smaller crowd and a quieter house...

But what sweet memories of joy and fun and what K called "whole hearted honest love" we will all cherish til we can be together again.

A prayer for the New Year...

...from Valley of Vision

Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,
sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from thee,
but may rely on thy Spirit
to supply every thought,
speak in every word,
direct every step,
prosper every work,
build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire
to show forth thy praise;
testify thy love,
advance thy kingdom.

I launch my bark on the unknown waters of
of this year,
with Thee, O Father, as my harbour,
thee, O Son, at my helm,
thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.


******
photo from stock.xchng