Monday, September 29, 2008

Special Day

I just got a hug and a reminder that today is a special day. I had not remembered, but Coty never forgets. Today marks the 31st anniversary of our first date, September 29, 1977. We baked bread, went for a walk, and looked at slides of his time teaching school in Kenya the year before. I think I knew then that I was in for a life of adventure. Six children, a few homes including those in two African countries, a Godward change in direction in the early years of our marriage, and lots of homemade bread later, life with my husband is still a blessed adventure. Happy First Date Anniversary, sweetheart!



part of the note I left on Coty's dorm room door confirming out date

In honor of the day, I add to my Gift List 31 reasons I thank God for my husband:

181. He loves me constantly, tenderly, unconditionally when I am loving and when I'm not. He obeys God's command to him to love his wife as Christ loved the church, faithfully, sacrificially.

182. He loves our children and is a devoted and supportive father. He does not exasperate them and is wise in his discipline and counsel.

183. He sees to the care of our souls by leading us daily to God's word.

184. He is very serious but doesn't take himself too seriously. We can tease and he smiles.

185. He works hard for his flock and faithfully endeavors to fulfill God's call on his life.

186. He is careful with money and has never failed to provide for his family.

187. He has an adventurous streak and isn't afraid of risk. He loves to travel and has been willing to take our family to far away places that others wouldn't dare to go. That has been very good for us.

188. He thinks out of the box. He isn't afraid of trying new things. He is guided by vision and mission. He loves the old and beautiful but isn't stuck in "we've always done it this way."

189. He loves great literature and reads out loud to us.

190. He is the most disciplined person I've ever known when it comes to taking care of his physical body. He takes care of himself so he can serve others.

191. He loves my cooking and says so.

192. He takes a very active role in our homeschooling, always supporting me, but more than that, he has always taught math and now teaches math to others in our co-op.

193. He loves to discuss significant events, news stories, ideas with us around the breakfast table.

194. He loves to sing and listen to classical music.

195. He encourages our sons in their endeavors and shows up for games, plays, concerts, and more.

196. He listens carefully and thinks hard about what others say.

197. He is patient with me when I am irrational. He forgives quickly and never says, "I told you so."

198. He encourages me to write and pursue other interests.

199. He loves babies and children and loves to hold them and play with them.

200. He loves having people in our home and welcomes visitors as family. He dearly loves all of the "honorary Pinckney" children in our lives.

201. He loves the mountains. He loves to hike. He loves to go places and be outside with me. We don't have to talk much. We can enjoy being together in the woods without a word and we know that the other is happy.

202. He doesn't pay too much attention to clothes or looks. He isn't self absorbed.

203. He is not a social butterfly. Some say he is a little awkward but I know he loves people and deep conversations. He's not a small talk man.

204. He loves to play games with the boys. You can always count on him for Dutch Blitz.

205. I can share passages I've read and underlined with him and he understands why I've underlined them.

206. He hugs me a lot. He rubs my shoulders and my feet.

207. He cries easily. He isn't afraid to shed tears when he preaches or prays or reads a moving part in a story. We all know that those long pauses and sips of water mean that Daddy is getting emotional.

208. He is calm in crisis, quick to listen and slow to speak, but when he speaks he has something to say. He controls his temper.

209. He likes to eat healthy food. He is careful with his diet.

210. He isn't picky.

211. He knows his weaknesses and seeks God's help in overcoming them.

212. He keeps his commitments and honors his covenants.






Oh, there are more, to be sure. But I will stop for now with this:

"That she was his half, she had no doubt at all. He needed her.
At times she knew with a joyous ache that she completed him,
just as she knew with the same joy that she needed him
and he
completed her. How beautiful a thing it was, she thought,
to be half, to be completed by such another half!

-
from "A Jonquil for Mary Penn" by Wendell Berry

Sunday, September 21, 2008

For simple pleasures...

171. A perfect cup of tea

172. A gift of cheesecake

173. A movie with Coty

174. A soft, draping shawl

175. My purring cat

I give thanks.


For bigger gifts...

176. The joining of two lives that have experienced deep pain and loss and now find new joy.

177. A son doing well in college, making new friends, growing up.

178. Another son, who constantly checks, "How are you doing today, Mommy?" and who makes me smile with his sweet thoughtfulness.

179. This morning's sermon that instructed, encouraged, and spurred on.

180. For a full week ahead with work, play, travel, and more.


I give thanks.


Thou hast given so much to me,
Give one thing more, - a grateful heart;
Not thankful when it pleaseth me,
As if Thy blessings had spare days,
But such a heart whose pulse may be Thy praise.
~George Herbert


Congratulations...

to Court and Bonnie, married on Saturday, on a picture perfect day with a mountain backdrop and family and a few friends gathered.


Coty performed the ceremony...


Karen, Rick, and Nathan played and sang...


and Ed and Levi, as well as the rest of us there, were thankful
to be able to share this very special day...


with two very special people.
God's richest blessings, Court and Bonnie!

New to us

One Sunday evening this summer while I was away at the beach with the boys, Coty, home alone and a bit bored, turned on the television to see if there was anything worth watching (rare occurrences both - Coty turning on the TV and finding anything worthwhile). But he found this:


He watched the episode that night and enjoyed it immensely. The next week when I was home, we watched together. We are hooked. This series is first rate. I've got as many as I can find in my movie queue and look forward to future viewings. If you like mysteries, check it out.

Monday, September 15, 2008

This morning...

the last few yards of topsoil were shoveled into the depression (it's not a hole anymore) behind the finished wall.


"What do you suppose she'll make us do now?"


Stay tuned for a little more on the completion of the wall. I am still pinching myself because I can hardly believe we really got this wall built. It wouldn't have happened without all those guys that surround me, help me constantly, and fill my days with joy!

To finish off the weekend...

we went to a birthday party in which:


Karen pulled off a surprise...though Jacob was a little suspicious.


Rousing games of volleyball were played.


I got drafted to play - once again, the only girl
with a court full of guys (all younger save one)...story of my life.
But hey, I did OK and got my serves over!


And Jacob blew out all the candles on his
apple spice cake,

ably assisted by Isabelle and Ezra (sorry, this picture doesn't
do justice to I and E's cuteness but it's the only one we got!)

Great end to the weekend. Happy birthday, Jacob!

Around our house this weekend...

A baby monitor on the kitchen counter...


Cars and boys that love them...


Legos, playmobil, and train tracks...


and very wonderful husband, sons, and friends
who play with little ones, comfort them when they're sad,
give baths, play hide and seek, push the stroller,
teach songs on the piano, and make my job of keeping
things running smoothly so much easier!
Thanks guys.


Joel and Garrett chatting poolside


Coty entertaining Rachel with the windchimes


It was a weekend full of little ones. Our dear friend, Lillian, brought her three on Friday afternoon. Then Amber and her boys came to swim Saturday afternoon. Finally, Michael and Jessica dropped their two off on Saturday evening so they could have a date. We got to play grandma, grandpa, and uncle all weekend. It's been a very long time since I've had a baby monitor on my kitchen counter or signed a little one into the nursery at church and gotten a lanyard to carry around!

We had a blast, but by Sunday afternoon when Lillian and kids drove away, I was pretty ready to just sit on the couch and get my feet rubbed! Ahhhhh......

Friday, September 12, 2008

This has never happened before....

OK, I know I was tired yesterday. After all, I did get up at 5:15 to make chocolate chip scones for my very early rising students who hit the books with a little flavorful incentive....

And I know I have a lot of gray hair. But usually people think it's frosted or blond and are surprised when I show them that it really is gray....

And I know I'm not a hip dresser like my dear friend, C. But hey, I did have on a very nice Furman embroidered T-shirt and a peppy little skort....

So, why did the girl at the check-out at the health food store yesterday ask me if I was a senior citizen???!!!

Ouch. That has never happened before.

Maybe she knew I was anticipating the weekend ahead when I will play grandma to the Goudas kids. Did she think I was looking particularly ....um .... mature???

Or have I been deceived by all those people who seem surprised when I tell them that I have a 25 year old daughter?

Perhaps, I should have asked that check-out girl to make good on her mistake and give me my sunflower, sesame, and flax seeds for free. But wait a minute, she looked like she was about 12 so she probably would have had to go and ask someone older....like me!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

On a rainy afternoon...

I give thanks for...

151. Fresh baked whole grain bread.

152. Good, warm soup on a rainy day.

153. These older children, Erin and Jonathan, blessing me in their maturity, and their grace and compassion as they give of themselves to others.

154. Out of the box thinking about missions

155. A son eager to serve with his video camera

156. Boys shoveling dirt with no complaints

157. My wise, wise husband

158. Sitting on the porch watching and listening to a torrential downpour

159. A long phone call with a college son

160. The hard things in life that refine

161. The little things - not needs - but little luxuries and reminders to hold them lightly

162. Good books to read - loving Wendell Berry right now

163. A new teaching job and the fun of seeing students "get it"

164. Learning with sons

165. Reading out loud

166. Beautiful art and people who help me appreciate it

167. The smell of Meyer lemons fresh from the tree

168. Patchouli hand lotion (thank you, C dear - I do love it!)

169. Dinner with friends.

170. A lovely old painting, found and hung

Monday, September 08, 2008

Happy Birthday, two more times

As I mentioned in the previous post, Matthew shares his birthday month with...

Erin, who is a quarter-century today...

and Andrew, whose birthday tomorrow gets him in under the wire to vote in this year's presidential election. Two more milestone birthdays this year.

Here they are in March when Erin and Luke last visited. Erin was the happy recipient of shoulder massages and foot rubs from the brother for whom she was "second mom."

Happy Birthday, you two. We miss you!

Sunday, September 07, 2008

A milestone birthday...

...deserves a milestone party. I wanted Matthew to have a great birthday party this year because, quite frankly, when you are the fifth of six children AND your birthday falls in the same month as two of your siblings, sometimes celebrations are not as elaborate as they might be. Matthew, bless his heart, has fallen through the cracks a time or two. It is his mother's fault.

Anyway, this year was different. We had a

Chocolate fountain...



Cheese fondue...

Birthday cheesecake...


Friends...




and games...

This one was Guesstures. See if you can figure out Bryce's word...

(fever)

Beth's word....

(lion - I know, it's really scary)

and Gary's word...
(steroids)


Everybody ate lots and had fun. It was an appropriately elaborate and exciting party for a sixteen year old. The ending was especially unique! No party of ours has ever ended quite like this one. And we'll just leave it at that! Happy birthday, once again, Matthew. Here's to a great year ahead.

I blinked....

...and last week, Matthew turned 16.

A moment ago he was a grubby little boy playing outside in Cameroon, coming in with a grimy face and filthy hair so full of dust that it stood on end...


Then he was a young man playing a French horn solo processional in his sister's wedding...

He learned to ski sometime in there...

joined the soccer team....

and discovered a love for acting...

and filmmaking...


Before I knew it, he was off to England for six weeks...


and a little later, the prom...

Sometime in there, he met Rhett and Link, laughed a lot, and developed his own quirky sense of humor...


and he got tall...

Yep. It all happened in a blink - or so it seems. That grubby little boy grew into a fine young man.

On the morning of his birthday, we woke him at a rather early hour and whisked him off to the Original Pancake house where he easily polished off a pile of strawberry pancakes. After that, we went to the Apple Store to learn more about Final Cut. He'll be upgrading his movie making software so stay tuned for great things.


Happy Birthday, Matthew. We love you!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Unknown Days

Warning: This is a rambling, rather stream of consciousness, memory filled post....

I am sitting at a table in the Davidson College Student Union Cafe. This space used to be the office of the Athletic Director way back when this building was Johnston Gym. I started working in the AD's office as a work-study student right about this time of year 33 years ago. I helped the secretary with whatever needed to be done, filing papers, answering the phone, running errands, driving student athletes to doctor's appointments in Charlotte. As a college freshman, I am quite sure I never imagined sitting in this space with two of my children, drinking coffee, connected to the internet, writing a blog post on my personal computer.

For starters, there were no personal computers and no internet. Oh, and no cell phones either. I was doing well to have an electric typewriter and the phone on the hall was my connection to anyone beyond the campus. Unless I took time to write a letter.

I didn't drink coffee back then. I was a health-food, vegetarian, granola hippie type. I was on a meal plan but I don't expect I got my money's worth. The only vegetarian options back then were iceberg lettuce salads and overcooked vegetables. I had a hot-plate in my room (don't think they allow those now) and I cooked brown rice. I ate a lot of brown rice.

And speaking of the coffee I'm drinking...it was a freebie this morning thanks to a connection from another period in my life that is now tied to this place. An old friend that we met, oh maybe 12 years ago when we lived in Massachusetts moved to NC before we ever knew we'd be coming back to this area. He's now the Director of Food Services at the Union. We ran into him when we walked into the cafe and he treated us with our drinks this morning. Thanks, Ed.

Interruption - a tall thin man carrying a camera just walked through the cafe area. I met him personally once. I don't really know him and he doesn't know me. I just know who he is. He's the older brother of the guy I dated my freshman year here, a guy I met on a blind date when I visited here as a senior year in high school. Too funny. I just leaned over and pointed him out to the boys. They had a chuckle.

And the boys that chuckled with me...Did I ever dream of children like them? Oh, no. I am quite sure that in my first year in this place, I never, ever, ever dreamed I would be the mother of six children, let alone six as wonderful as they all are. I hadn't even met the man who became my husband, though he, too, was a student here. We didn't really meet until my junior year when he was a fifth year senior, just returned from a life changing year away in rural Kenya. Once we got serious and broached the topic of children, I think we figured on two, three, or maybe four. But six! No, not in our plans back then. And here I sit now with my youngest two, anticipating (dreading) the day when they, too, will join their older siblings and head off to college and grown-up life. I have a married daughter, a son who's about to set off on a year working abroad, two in college, AND these two sitting at the table reading The Epic of Gilgamesh and studying PreCalculus. Wait a minute! When did that happen? Wasn't I just a college student here?!

I look around at girls in flowing skirts and flip-flops, guys in khaki shorts and t-shirts, hear the laughter, the banter, the talk about classes and soccer practice, grad school, and politics. Do they in their wildest dreams have any clue of what their futures hold? Will they predict futures for themselves that will be anything like the realities they will live in the years ahead? Probably not.

I'm heading out in a minute, back to the friend's house where we will have lunch and then afternoon homeschool co-op classes. I cannot help but remember, as I recollect in this place, these words from Psalm 139:

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well...
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

I did not see ahead when I walked these halls and paths. I did not imagine the joys and sorrows, the people and places, the life ahead. And I cannot now see what lies ahead. But I marvel and rest in the hope that they are written in God's book, that the unknown days are known to him.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Aprons

I like to wear aprons when I cook. Keeps me from splattering my clothes with spaghetti sauce or curry. All my aprons are very functional - heavy fabric, straight lines, no frills - just hard-working and practical. Picture grocery-store deli counter. Actually, one that I wear pretty often is the one Jonathan wore when he worked at Lowes Foods. Not terribly exciting, but it does keep my clothes unspotted.

But now I've entered an apron giveaway. So, if I win, practical will be a little prettier. Check out Maple Lane Apron Company, if you, like me are a messy cook who needs a little apron help.