The latest...

new band perhaps? I don't know what they are called.


I just call them My Guys.

Competing in thank you's

As I have said before, the boys around here compete. It took a new twist tonight. After finishing dinner, Matthew said, "Thank you, Mommy."

Then Andrew said, "Thank you Mommy for that marvelous dinner."

Then Joel said, "I'll beat you both!"

Chuckling I asked, "Are you competing for the most thankful thank-you?"

Now that's a competition I am happy to entertain around here!

Final score: Andrew in the lead, because Joel was still eating after the above comments and I left the room. After he got finished, he busied himself washing dishes and forgot. Ooops. I just reminded him and he poured out his thanks. I think points get deducted for late thankfulness, but he probably gets some points for being late because of dishwashing. I'll have to check the rule book!

For all you knitters out there...

I came across this wonderful giveaway last night and wanted all my knitting friends out there to know about it. Of course, by doing this, I decrease my chance of winning, but it's too good not to share! Go to Kristin's blog for details.

Home, sweet home

Jalapeno syrup and applesauce are simmering on the stove, bread is rising, and the cat is happy to have his family home again. We got back this afternoon after our week long trip to Virginia.

Having all of our children together under one roof was a joy that will not likely happen again til Jonathan graduates in May! And having ALL of Coty's extended family together - well who knows when that will happen again, as the grown kids spread their wings and fly to places far and wide. We have children in New York state, Massachusetts, and Tennessee, a niece and nephew in Virginia, and nephews in college in Colorado and Maryland. By next fall, two more of the cousins will be in college. Being all together is a rare treat.



We laughed a lot. We ate a lot. We talked a lot. Some walked, played football and volleyball. We watched movies and played Taboo. We learned a new card game. We played with Sadie, Erin and Luke's new dog. I knitted and read. It was a good time away. Here are a few more pictures:

The turkey bowl QB


Wiped out after the turkey bowl, resting up for dinner!


Playing Taboo


Lots of laughter in the Taboo game



The arm wrestling competition



Sadie, waiting patiently for treats from Bapa



Some of us came home a little sick, probably from too many late nights and not enough sleep! So, we're a little slow in getting back in the swing of things, but it's good to be home.

Thanksgiving morning

25. Safe arrivals for all on Tuesday: We drove in from NC; Thomas from Tennessee; Erin, Luke, and Jonathan from NY/MA.

26. Wall to wall air mattresses in the living room and spilling over into the dining room filled with sleeping sons and nephews.

27. Yesterday morning's walk/run in the park past brilliant red sugar maples, russet oaks, flaming poplars and more.

28. Waking, laughing, teasing boys getting ready to head out to play the traditional Thanksgiving morning turkey bowl football game.

29. Glorious sunshine and warmth.

30. Time, sweet time, to sit around the table and talk.

Happy Thanksgiving, all. I'll be quiet for the rest of the time away. See you next week.

Ambleside learning journal

If you homeschool using Ambleside Online, take a look at this online learning journal that my friend, Ann, has begun to update again. Lots of resources for AO users, and a peek into how Ann and her family implement the curriculum. Enjoy.

Can you guess...

who got a haircut on Sunday???!!!
Hint - it wasn't a Pinckney.

Isabelle and Mr. Coty

The Halls are here and Isabelle and "Mr.Coty" (her name for him) have been having a lot of fun. They go way back...in fact all the way back to Isabelle's birth! Coty arrived at the hospital within the first hour after Isabelle was born and he had the amazing privilege of holding her as a very newborn baby. Karen thinks the bond started then!I think she will always have a special place in his heart because she was the first DGCC baby. She had the #1 nursery tag and she was the first baby dedicated in our church family. Isabelle really loves Mr. Coty and he really loves her! At the Stout's house on Saturday night, Coty had Isabelle and several little ones around him as he read book after book out loud. Then on Sunday, Isabelle told me in Sunday School, "I always look for Mr. Coty." After church, she found him and helped him gather up bulletins, pack up his church box, and get ready to leave. At lunch time, she insisted that she sit next to Mr. Coty. And after lunch, he helped her with watercolor painting. Good grandfather practice!

Poetry in our house

For the last two years I have made a more concerted effort to foster poetry appreciation. It started with simply memorizing a few poems. Last year, we learned "The Charge of the Light Brigade", "O, Captain! My Captain!", parts of "Paul Revere's Ride", and Macbeth's soliloquy in Act V after Lady Macbeth dies. I chose all of these from Laura Berquist's collection, The Harp and the Laurel Wreath.

People have asked me how we memorize long poems. It's really pretty simple. I read a line or two, the boys repeat it. I read a couple more lines, they repeat. We put them together, read, repeat, read, repeat. Then I have them recite what they have learned. The next morning they recite again what they did the day before and we keep adding lines day by day reading, repeating, reciting until we've learned the complete poem. I guess the fourth "r" of our poetry learning method is review. Every so often, we review by reciting poems we've learned before. So, for example this year, we will occasionally recite one of our poems from last year. I think we are all amazed that we remember them. Hey, I guess that's "r" number five. So there you have it, our family's five "r" system for poetry memoriztion: read, repeat, recite, review, remember!

Last year we learned more literal, narrative, and historical poems. So far, this year we are learning poems with more spiritual import, symbolism and imagery. We are talking more about figurative language, forms, and literary devices. We have learned "God's Grandeur", "The Clod and the Pebble", and our current poem is Shakespeare's Sonnet 116:

LET me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love ’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov’d,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.

The other books we have relied on most in our recent study are The Norton Anthology of Poetry and The Roar on the Other Side: A Guide for Student Poets by Suzanne U. Clark. Enjoy with me a few lines from Clark's introduction:

Poetry starts with silence - not silence in the world but silence in the mind.

If we cultivate the art of inner quiet and develop habits to nurture the mind's green fields, we will hear the melodies of Heaven.

Stillness needs a larger room than most of us give it. By making decisions to read a good book instead of watching TV or take a walk instead of playing a video game, you are enlarging this room. Writing poetry will add floor space and a skylight.

We love God with our mind when we admire smoothness, strangeness, structure, intricacy, fragrance, complexion, motion. 'Glory be to God for dappled things,' exclaimed the poet-priest Gerard Manley Hopkins.

We read that poem this morning and now I look out at the dappled play of afternoon light on flaming trees. Glory be to God, indeed!

This poetry study is another one of those homeschooling stretching and enriching experiences for me. I remember snatches of poems I learned in 7th grade, but I am now relishing reading, learning, and memorizing as well as listening and seeing in ways I never did when I was in school. The boys do, I think, enjoy our poetry now, but I expect they will appreciate it even more when as adults the line "It is the star to every wandering bark" slips into their thoughts as they contemplate love, or when as they gaze on a brilliant fall afternoon, they realize that "The world is charged with the grandeur of God..."

Excellent reasons for having more poetry in our days. Do you have favorites? Would you share?

My Personal Crispani Chef

One of the benefits of having a son that works at Panera and who learned how to make crispani, a now discontinued menu item, is that I now have my own personal crispani chef! Oooooo, they were good!


Andrew, wearing one of Jonathan's old Lowe's Foods aprons, hard at work


Fresh crispani, hot from the oven!

Here's my improvisation with left-over dough the next morning. Triple berry, brown sugar, cinnamon breakfast crispani. It was really good, too. Now I'm thinking about how I can make and freeze dough in crispani sized portions so I can pull it out the night before to thaw and rise for a quick, delicious and special breakfast. Andrew tells me that all the dough at Panera is frozen, so I know it can be done. Any helpful hints?

More gifts...

18. A visit with my sister, Anne, and her kids, walking and talking with her, and the joy of watching the cousins have fun together at the playground.

19. Early morning walks with Amber and her smiling, early bird children who run out to greet us in their pj's and barefeet.

20. An afternoon in the garden planting tulips, anemones, alliums, snapdragons, ornamental kale and mustard, and pansies for winter and early spring beauty.

21. The prospect of more garden work tomorrow to tuck perennials into beds for their winter sleep.

22. Said perennials for $1 in abundance on clearance trays at the hardware store and the anticipation of a garden full of flowers next summer.

23. Hard conversations that clear the air and make way for a hug at the end.

24. Andrew offering to make dinner so garden weary mom can refresh.

Golden days

Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn.
- Elizabeth Lawrence

I linger at the kitchen window to watch the turning. In the morning, the sun slants in from the east and makes the changing leaves of the beech, poplar, and ash trees shine like gold. In the afternoon, the light slants in from the west with a more subdued radiance. These are the golden days.

A Mathematical Observation and the Music of Family

One of the ways Coty and I are different is that he thinks mathematically and I do NOT! He is always coming up with interesting facts and observations that involve figuring, that shed light on life in distinctly numerical ways. His thoughts about our growing children and their relationships, the ways in which our family has been changing as children go off to college, and how and why this affects us the way it does is the latest sphere for such a mathematical observation. Here's his observation:

When you have two children, you have one relationship between them. When you have three children, you have three relationships among them. For example, Andrew has a relationship with Matthew and Joel, and Matthew has a relationship with Joel. When you have four children, however, the number of relationships goes up to six. And when you have six children, the number of relationships among them jumps to fifteen! Fifteen relationships in which love is expressed through words and deeds, encouragement and teasing, helping and giving. Also fifteen relationships in which love becomes strained by anger, disappointment, frustration, impatience and more. There is a LOT going on relationally among the siblings in a big family. Add Mommy and Daddy and the number of relationships jumps to a whopping twenty-eight!

From 1994 when Joel was born to 2002 when Erin went off to college, we joyfully lived in the midst of the fifteen distinct, growing, changing relationships among our children We navigated the range of emotions possible among six very different children - children who are noisy and quiet, timid and bold, thoughtful and clueless, diligent and sluggish, introverted and extroverted, neat and messy, melancholy and sanguine. We helped children who differ in their intellectual, athletic, musical, and social skills to get along and appreciate each other. We watched "olders" care for "youngers" and teach them how to do things like set the table and clean the toilet. We intervened in squabbles when necessary and helped angry brothers and one sister learn how to say, "I'm sorry," and "I forgive you." We listened to the sound, sometimes music, sometimes clamor, of six children living under one roof.

In the past five years, the number of sibling relationships around us on a daily basis has decreased as each successive child has headed off to college. Coty's mathematical observation makes me realize just how much I am missing. It helps explain why after years of having a large family at home, it feels like such a shock to only have three sibling relationships around the table. It is not one, two, or three children that are not at home, but many, varied relationships that I do not experience day in and day out. The music has fewer layers. I do not mean that my children's relationships are not ongoing - they certainly are - and they are developing in new ways - but because we are not under the same roof, I don't hear the sounds of them on a daily basis. I don't experience the immediacy of all those relationships.

I think that is also why I can't wait to be with all of our children and our son-in-law for four days at Thanksgiving. It will be like music. Melody and harmony, fortissimo and pianissimo. The din of relational abundance may be deafening, like the wild clash of exuberant cymbals. I may wish for earplugs at moments...but you can be sure, I won't be putting them in, because as I listen I will hear, in the din, the sweet strains of the music of our family life. I will catch the familiar melodies and harmonies of my children's relationships. I will hum along quietly and maybe I will belt out my own refrain at times. After all, I am a part of that whopping twenty-eight. And my mathematical husband, well he'll be right in there, too, singing along at times, quietly listening with me at times, and gazing into my eyes with knowing and a chuckle. That's one thing that I love about growing old and going through all this with him - we see it and think about it all in different ways but in our hearts we know it together and we help each other understand and live it.

My next mathematical challenge for him is to calculate what will happen when we begin to add daughters-in-law and grandchildren!

Road Weary

Home again, home again...and I'm a bit road weary. BUT the drive was beautiful. We went the mountain route this time, through Knoxville and the Smokies and Asheville. I like that way better because whenever I see the hazy blue silhouette of mountains in the distance I feel excited, happy, and peaceful all at the same time. Plus driving on curving, uphill/downhill roads is way more fun than driving the wide interstate, traffic-filled, Atlanta route. While ALL the kids, weary from late nights in the dorm, slept, I listened to my music and gazed at the fall colors along the way.

I expect "Tommy" slept all afternoon, too. We are not used to hearing people calling him that, but that's his name at Covenant. Very funny to all of us! It was great to see him and wonderful that we'll see him again so soon!

Chattanooga

Well, all I can say is Chattanooga is one cool city! We spent the day downtown. First we visited the Tennessee Aquarium. Then we walked down to the riverfront to look at the fountain and the Passage, Chattanooga's monument honoring the Cherokees and commemorating the Trail of Tears. Then up the hill to the Sculpture Park at the Hunter Art Museum, across the Walnut Street pedestrian bridge to Coolidge Park, and then along Frazier Street to look at the North Shore shops and galleries. Our hungry gang finally headed back to St. Elmo in the late afternoon for pizza and wings at Mr. T's. It has been a great day with my kids and friends.

Together

Four of my boys are together tonight - playing ping-pong and pool in the dorm lounge, talking, laughing, enjoying their brotherly competition and teasing. I think Thomas is so proud to be able to introduce his brothers to his hallmates and friends. I'm happy to hear their banter. I just wish Jonathan could be here, too, but it won't be long til we'll have everybody together at Thanksgiving!

It's been a full day of college activities - chapel, where Michael Cassidy was the speaker, meals in the Great Hall, class, admissions tour, and more! Tomorrow we will "do" Chattanooga.

Well, they are off to hang out with some friends and I am heading to the quiet of the mountainside guest cottage for now.

Adding to the gift list...

15. Brothers that love each other and bring a smile to this mother's face.

16. The beauty of fall on the mountain here - gold, orange, rust and deep red.

17. Traveling mercies.

Thank you for...

11. Strains of a song I love played on the music room piano by a friend/adopted son so thoughtful to learn it and play for me.

12. Playing the flute to accompany this young man's piano playing and beautiful singing.

13. The excitement of a nighttime drive with a car full of great kids.

14. A loving next door neighbor.

Off for a college visit

I'm hitting the road tonight with a car full of teens (and one almost teen - Joel!). We're heading up to Covenant College to see Thomas and have an admissions visit for Andrew. CC isn't A's top choice, but he's going to apply there. He and another friend will go to class with Thomas and have the Covenant experience! Joel and Matthew are going, too, and I'm hoping to take them to the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga. The kids will all stay in the dorm while I enjoy some quiet time in the campus guest cottage. I'm taking books and knitting - I already feel relaxed!

One Thousand Gifts

My friend, Ann, is the inspiration for starting my own gift list. Going through the refining flames of adversity makes me acutely aware of my need to be more intentional and vocal in my thanks. I have a small blue journal, tied on the edges with satin ribbon, filled with handmade paper. It is now the home of my One Thousand Gifts list. I could not explain the reasons for keeping a gift list better than Ann has done so I refer you to her writings.

Christians are to be a thankful people. I will never forget the question posed by a friend of ours years ago. "Thanksgiving," he asked, "is it an annual holiday or an eternal lifestyle for you?" As the annual holiday approaches, I begin this list, desiring that my life be more and more characterized by deep gratitude and thanksgiving for the gifts God lavishes on me daily. I desire to live an eternal lifestyle of thankfulness.

And I realize that listing a thousand gifts barely scratches the surface. I receive thousands of gifts everyday - every breath I take is a gift. This list seems so inadequate. But it is a start and it opens my eyes. It says in the sidebar, "What you see is what you get." I choose to see blessings. Oh Lord, open my eyes.

Josh Bales sings:

Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That you have shown me grace
And made my heart in grace to stay
And made my heart in grace to stay...

Thou has given me so much... Give me one thing more, a grateful heart.--George Herbert

1. Jesus, the most precious gift of all and faith to believe, a gift from start to finish given by God.

2. The Bible, God's holy word, and for God's constantly drawing me to his word to feast on its riches - for instruction, guidance, courage, wisdom, solace, hope.

3. Coty - steadfast, tender, patient head and lover - body, mind, and soul - with unconditional grace of unlovely me.

4. Erin - and now Luke, Jonathan, Thomas, Andrew, Matthew, Joel - gifts of God that together with God and Coty have made me who I am now - a wife and mother whose heart is so full with the privilege of being blessed with this husband and these children that I haven't words adequate to describe the joy.

5. A cool morning, a cup of coffee, and a porch swing.

6. The flyover of a V of honking geese; the lowing of a cow in the pasture beyond the woods.

7. Birdsong - sparrow, hawk call, flock of grackles, cardinal, titmouse, blue-jay

8. A recent quiet afternoon, sitting in the treehouse reading and resting with the sun shining on a mix of green and golden leaves and a soft breeze making dappled shade quiver, the lower stream softly gurgling.

9. Praying senior saints pouring out their humble hearts to God.

10. The Father's ordering of my day, bringing both hardship and solace for His good purposes.

Been listening to...

Josh Bales. My son, Jonathan, introduced me to Josh's music. He was on staff at Summit with Josh for a couple of summers. Take a listen here. My favorite CD is Josh Bales Self-Titled Album, and especially the songs I Need You, Keep Me Low, and The Pilgrim Song. When I feel down and want to quit, I listen to The Pilgrim Song...

Put one foot in front of the other and
pilgrim you will soon discover that
there will be cold streams when you're thirsty
There will be sunshine, even in the dark clouds
So, don't look back don't get sidetracked
Just walk on...

Reminds me of Elisabeth Eliot's advice, "Do the next thing."

Remembering Cameroon

I have spent the evening enjoying pictures from Cameroon and returning, with the help of online photos, to a place where we learned much of God's mercy. These thumbnails (click on each one to view the larger photo) are from Mbingo hospital, where we made an unplanned visit the second night of our yearlong stay there. Joel suffered the worst injuries in a car accident on the way from the coast to Bamenda. We had to take him that night to the Mbingo hospital, pictured below, praying that his leg was not broken. Seeing the picture of the hospital entrance brought back vivid memories of arriving there in John Dallman's small pickup, carrying Joel through the dimly lit covered walkway to the operating room, and watching while Dr. Zimmerman numbed, cleaned and then stitched the deep gash in Joel's leg. What a brave 5 year old trooper he was that night.



The next two thumbnails remind me of other happier times at Mbingo - BCG (Baptist General Conference) Field Council with the other missionary families - meetings interspersed with lots of fun and games as well as walks in what has to be one of the most beautiful spots on earth. Our children, like the ones in the picture below, climbed and played in these very trees!





And I remember buying the basket that now hangs in my living room from the men who were leprosy patients. If you click on the thumbnail of the man preparing the cane and view the larger photo, you will notice that he has nubs instead of fingers on one hand. That's because of the damage that leprosy does to the nerves which often results in loss of feeling and subsequent infection to, and loss of the fingers. I was amazed at the dexterity and skill with which the leprosy patients made both baskets and beautifully embroidered fabrics.





To see more pictures of the life and work at Mbingo Hospital and the BCG, visit the photo galleries of our friends, Thom and Ellen Schotanus. We are excited about the wide ranging work they continue to do at Mbingo and in church planting in Baicham. We are privileged to know such dedicated folks, who for the love of Christ left family, home and a successful construction business to serve among the unreached. May God raise up more like Thom and Ellen.

A Poem for the Treehouse

With thanks to A.A. Milne for the inspiration...

Halfway down the tree
Is a place
Where I sit
There isn’t any
Other place
Quite like
It.
I’m not at the bottom,
I’m not at the top;
Here is my treehouse
Where
I love to
Stop





Halfway up the tree
Isn’t near.
And isn’t far,
It isn’t in the kitchen,
It isn’t in the car
And all sorts of peaceful thoughts
Run round my head;
It isn’t really anywhere!
It’s somewhere else
Instead!










Someone else loves my quiet spot, too!

Worthy Links

Here are a few of the links I visit or recommend. Some I visit every day, others only occasionally. This is not an exhaustive list - just a sampling. Check back. I may add more from time to time. I'll link to them in the sidebar.

Family and Church
Expository Sermons and Worship Resources from my husband, Coty
Desiring God Community Church
Erin at Stirrup to Stirrup

Learning at Home, Charlotte Mason style
Ambleside Online
A Full Life: The Works of Charlotte Mason
Amber

Inspiration
Holy Experience
Everyday Graces
titus2talk


Beautiful Handiwork
Getting Stitched on the Farm
Posie Gets Cozy
Yarnstorm

Beautiful Gardens
Memorial Garden
North Carolina Arboretum
Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden
Wing Haven

Christian Resources
Desiring God: God-centered resources from the ministry of John Piper

Friends Abroad
The Sneads
The Halls
The Misers